Rebalancing myself

I want to apologize. I did something that I often make fun of. I joined a group on Facebook. I was emotional and didn’t think straight and I feel like I have a tattoo that I’m not proud of. Gee, I ended two sentences with a preposition in one paragraph. I owe the grammarians an apology as well.

I wasn’t balanced today. Don’t you feel unbalanced sometimes? This morning the huge health care bill passed. Many people were pissed. Many people were ecstatic. When the majority is on an extreme, I try to take a step back. I understand that people have legitimate reasons not to like the legislation. Some people have reasons to dislike the legislation that have nothing to do with the truth as well. That’s what bothers me.

But if I’m not helping the problem, I’m part of the problem. At almost the same time as I thought to myself, “Hey, didn’t Rush Limbaugh vow to leave the country if the health care bill passed?” one of my Facebook friends joined a group called Waiting for Rush Limbaugh to Leave the Country. I thought it was funny. Limbaugh made that vow when it seemed highly unlikely that the bill would pass. I do not have anything to back this statement up, and that’s the point.

I think the country needs Rush. He speaks to a large audience every day and gets paid better than Peyton Manning to do so. He’s not getting this chunk of cheddar living in Costa Rica. I have no idea what kind of government Costa Rica has, but I can guarantee that it doesn’t have the ongoing narrative ripe for Rush’s brand of entertainment. And as a wannabe comedian, we need the funny. We need Rush ranting, and we need people calling him out and more importantly, making jokes at his expense.
I had a friend honestly ask who Glenn Beck was. The responses were great. Half of the people thought he was the devil and the other half thought he was fantastic.

Her response was balanced and respected both sides. We need more of that. We don’t need to poke people with a stick when they’re down and we don’t need to overpraise those who are honestly excited about what happened in Washington this weekend. We need to understand one another. My joining a funny but ultimately hateful group on Facebook does not contribute.

I’m done apologizing. I dis-joined the group. I am now only a member of the Emory Capstone program, which I actually completed, and Zealots Field, which is a group of fantasy football leagues of which I am an active participant. No one was harmed in the joining of these groups. I feel cleaner somehow.

Mass hysteria

I don’t want the health care bill to stop. I want the hysteria about the health care bill to stop. At this point I don’t care whether it passes or not. I think Obama has to get it passed because he promised change and people think that he’s done nothing in the past 16 months except play basketball, smoke, and appear on TV a lot. He signed a jobs bill this week, but no one gives a crap.

What irks me is that people are acting like this is a line in the sand. Do you know what the best part about lines in the sand is? They are easily erased. If Obama passes this legislation, and it’s not solely up to him despite what people say, it doesn’t mean that socialism wins and that freedom loses. It means that a bill passed. It won’t be perfect. I don’t even know what perfect is. Since there are Americans who believe that Obama should be impeached, for what exactly I’m not sure, and there are people who think that he’s the last great hope for America, and these people can still get a beer together, things are OK. I don’t know how much longer that’s going to last.

There was hysteria about Bush, but that was based on what he’s done. Most of the Obama hysteria is based on things that he hasn’t done, lies told about him, or distortions.

Here’s an Impeach The President!!! article. The article states that Pelosi is considering using something called the “Slaughter Plan” which is a way to pass this legislation without a strict up and down vote. Let’s be clear on this plan. It has not been completed. I assume that if a commentator is talking about it, it has been used before, probably by the other party.

It seems that the article is stating that if Obama is behind this procedural rule, which is something that Congress would do, he should be impeached. You can’t impeach someone just because you don’t like him. The Republicans pulled that off with Clinton but he actually broke the law. There are a lot of people who haven’t liked Obama from the start. That’s fine. I didn’t like Bush from the start. He did not grow on me, and I doubt that Obama would grow on most of the haters. When you have a set opinion on a person, it’s hard to change.

Once again I say, why the hysteria? A government-run system means that private industry gets cut out. Private industry usually means soak the consumer, like our current health care system does. Anyone who says our health care is best in the world, as this article does, is full of shit. If it’s the best, why are we less healthy than other countries and pay more for the privilege?

I’ve decided to move forward on this issue. Anyone who states that Obama should be impeached is going to get the “nah nah nah I’m not listening to you” treatment while I plug my ears. Anyone who plays the “America is the best country in the world and it’s never done anything wrong” card gets the same treatment. Have a legitimate reason to dislike legislation and the men and women who wield political power and I’ll listen. I’ll listen if the other person is willing to listen. I don’t hear any of that going on now and it’s scaring me.

Not that kind of package

The modern world is shaped, in theory anyway, to avoid all inconvenience. That may be the design, but it's not the practice. I will use the Wal Mart of online stores, Amazon.com, as an example. Last week I ordered three items. May I have ordered the third item to get the free shipping? Sure. I can't see that free shipping is any kind of a win for Amazon. Because of that, one would assume that if you order three items that Amazon would wait until all three items are in stock to ship. That's not how they roll. My first item shipped. I assumed that meant that items two and three were on back order or something. Nope; item two shipped the same day (yes, really) and item number three shipped the following day. This would be like me going to Target, shopping, driving home and unloading, then repeating the same process with Kroger and Publix even though the stores are all close to each other.

Items one and two arrived a day apart. Item three seemed to be lost. Amazon sent me an e-mail stating that no one was home to sign for the item when it arrived via USPS. I've never had to sign for an Amazon purchase. What the Hades is going on here? The e-mail was vague. It only said that my item was at the nearest Post Office.

I went to the Post Office home page. There were four offices in close proximity to my home. The closest one was a mile away. The downside was that their hours are 9 to 5 Monday through Friday. How convenient. I had a window this afternoon and took it. I went to the PO and stood in line, like I always do. After waiting ten minutes the lady told me that this post office didn't receive any mail. I had to go to another office five miles down the road. I went. I waited. People snuck in and out of line with no regard for the rest of us. It was hellafun. When I got to the front and explained my situation the guy looked at me like I asked for a certified letter when I clearly only needed second day air. I pretend that I picked up some of the lingo during my extensive time in Post Offices today. He had nothing for me. I was supposed to get something tangible in the mail telling me that my item was there, and I did not have that. I left frustrated at the world.

When I got home, the package was on my doorstep. Amazon.com may not be efficient, but they get the job done.

Change ain't easy

The Obama mantra was capital C change. Everybody craved it. Frankly what people craved was no more Bush. He got into office. He started to work. Now it seems like people don’t really want change.

Everybody’s pissed. It’s about the only thing people can agree upon. On one end change isn’t happening fast enough and on the other things are moving too fast. The point of agreement is on the health care bill. It must be stopped. Ask someone what they think about the actual content of the bill and the most likely response is an untruth. Death squads are untrue, although to be frank, some of you old people need to step aside. A mass government takeover is just silly. What doesn’t the government already control? Are you really going to notice an attempt, overpaid and probably misguided as it will be, to regulate the insurance industry? When people think that an industry that has created the most expensive and wasteful health care system in the world needs protection, we’ve gone off the deep end.

If there’s a way to get the bill passed, it’s going to get passed. It’s not going to make a lot of people happy. I guess there aren’t as many married people out there. Married people have to compromise. You don’t do it because you’re whipped, at least we hope not. You do it because compromise is a positive result for both parties. Nothing ends up the way you plan. Think about your career. Has it gone exactly the way you envisioned at age 21? I doubt it. This bill is not very different from the rest of life. It’s a starting point. It’s a campaign promise realized. That’s what people asked for. They seem to have forgotten that.

Errand day

I like to run errands. There’s something about having a large to-do list and checking off items. Even though I have a moderate commute to work every day, I don’t mind spending a lot of time in the car. I have podcasts to listen to. Weekends are when I play catch up.

The main focus of today’s errand journey was the end of one long project. I recently finished my Emory Web Design Certificate program. I actually didn’t know that I had finished. I thought I had one test to pass but found out that was unnecessary. All that was left was for me to pick up the parchment, or whatever they made the certificate out of. I talked to the guy running the program. He said swing by on Saturday.

I figured that while I was out of the house, I might as well do other things. What started out as a trip to pick up a piece of paper and restock the liquor cabinet became an odyssey.

I don’t like to have things perfectly scheduled. I understand that when I’m getting groceries that it’s a good idea to stick to the list. I can’t just do that. I have to buy one or two things off-list that we may need or “just because I can”. Today’s trip was like that.

Wifey asked me where the dry-cleaning bag was. That wasn’t a hint, but I took it anyway. My initial stop was at the dry cleaning shop. The dry cleaning shop always looks like a sweatshop but I know that they're doing fine. Dry cleaning owners do nothing but work all the time so they have no time to spend money.

While I drove to Emory I listened to Sports Guy and Chuck Klosterman discuss the last season of Lost. I don't always like listening to Klosterman. Maybe I'm just confused by people who make a living in part due to their encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture. I like it when he’s coming up with theories about Lost. The bottom line was that even though Lost may not always make sense and you don't know where it's going, it is an enjoyable hour of TV.

I thought it funny that they said in advance that a person who isn’t caught up on Lost shouldn’t listen, but when they referenced a character from The Wire dying, they bleeped it out. I can only assume that this means The Wire is greater than Lost and there’s no debate about that.

I made a pit stop for liquor. Earlier in the week I heard the same Sports Guy discuss how he liked flavored vodka with sparkling water. I had a hankering even though I’ve never tried this drink combination. I researched flavored vodkas online and found the best. The best was expensive. It costs about five times as much as what I like to pay for wine. I said screw it. It’s Saturday and the weather’s nice and I’m wandering through Atlanta. What could be better than that? I bought Hanger 1 Mandarin and I will review it later.

The woman at the Emory admin desk was friendly but not helpful. My certificate was not present. Instead of whining or complaining I merely left a note for the guy in charge and asked that he mail the certificate to me. I took my first class for this certificate in 2007 and committed to it in 2008. I want that paper.

Next I visited the old neighborhood. You don’t know how you feel about a place until you leave. It’s like someone you dated and years later you can’t even remember her last name. I could take or leave Buckhead. The location formerly known as the Home Depot is now a cheap furniture store called The Dump. That’s some excellent marketing. I stopped to check the wife’s P.O. Box.

I said I wasn’t going to go to Target but it was right there so I went inside. They did not have my hair product and I decided just to walk out. When all you need in life is hair product and mouthwash, you’re OK in waiting another day to get a refill.

Next was my last trip to the Fulton County Library. I’ve officially made the switch to DeKalb and I’m in library love. Fulton County was there when I needed it and I learned a few things about myself during the process. I probably checked out a hundred books during the seven years I lived there. It’s time to move on.

My list was complete but I had to make one more stop. The wife and I are having a third date tonight. I know that sounds strange for two people who have been together for close to a decade. Sometimes in a relationship you have to press the reset button on the odometer. No one will know except for the four people reading this. I stopped to buy tulips because she likes tulips and while I was at Trader Joes I got some pita chips, bananas, and wine. I have needs, too.

On the way home I transitioned to Adam Carolla and realized I needed to make one stop. What’s the sparkling water and vodka without the sparkling water? I stopped at a Publix. I had four planned stops on this trip and made seven. I was out for about two hours. Now I’m at home. It's the one with the yard cats and the huge pot hole out front and the friendly bundled up walkers.

And it's the one with my name on the mortgage.

Rip off

I’m going to set a schedule. Once a week I will write on a topic of which I have no expertise but my own meandering experience. I will make zero cogent points at best and will insult and/or confuse readers at worse. I expect this to be a lot of fun.

Some call the 1950s the Golden Age of Television. I think it’s now, but either way in most aspects of American life there is a period of unprecedented growth. It never lasts forever, but since old people are around to tell us about it, we’ll never forget.

This is the Golden Age of ripping people off. In American history there has not been a bigger percentage of the economy based on screwing people over. There are times when we are taken by the small print. There are times when we are just dumb. We have been inundated with fees and restrictions that affect our every move.

Recently banks have complained because people have to “opt in” to be charged a fee when a person makes a debit card purchase that exceeds the balance. This is, of course, referred to as a courtesy and something the bank is doing to help the customer and encourage commerce. You’re getting ripped. See, banks used to make money by interest on loans. Their CEOs probably didn’t make eight figures. You could go into a branch and not be charged to talk to a person. I’m surprised that they haven’t created a “look at your account online” fee. They might have and I wouldn’t know about it. It’s not enough anymore for them to make interest money off of the so-called cash in my checking account.

Credit card companies are big fans of the fee. Now that people are using credit cards less and less, the companies have to be more creative. You can be charged for not using your card. There are enough double billing cycles and holds on your funds to make sure that people never pay the card off.

I have a gym membership. I signed up on a simple contract. I was to pay $20 a month. No problemo. There was one problemo. They charge each member a $29 fee at the beginning of the year for “equipment upgrades”. Isn’t that why I pay the monthly fee? Instead of building the annual fee into the monthly charge, they throw it in there. They could just kick me in the balls instead. The feeling wouldn’t last as long that way.

Speaking of my banking example, could the economy survive without these rip-offs? I wonder. We don’t sell products anymore in this country. We sell services. Services are nebulous and so are the charges.

The ultimate rip-off is the double wars we’re in. Since we seem to add a new country to the list of “recently bombed” every month, maybe we’re at war with everyone. If we decided to pack it up and go home, what would the contractors do? How would they survive without charging $100 an hour for a job that a solider used to do for $12 an hour? What will the stockholders think if they can’t charge $10 for a bottle of water?

I’m being tongue in cheek, but this is a serious issue. We understand that we’re getting ripped off, expect it, and quite possibly enjoy it in a perverse way. It’s because beating the system is the American way. And if someone else is doing it, even at our expense, at least they’re sticking it to the man.

As my final thought, I'm totally cool with Ronald Reagan kicking Ulysses Grant off the $50 bill. I have one caveat. The $50 should only be worth $20 in honor of Reagan tripling the federal deficit while he was in power.